Doc10/Fred story 
The Snowthan Host


Fred emerged from the TARDIS, brushing some ashes off the front of his
shirt. "Nice landing, Doctor."

"Well, I told you not to touch that switch." The Doctor pointed at the
TARDIS. "Now K-9 has to stay in there and fix the damage. He's going to
miss all the fun!"

Fred looked around, surveying the very tired and dirty city street they
had landed in.  "What fun?"

The Doctor pointed to a large building a few blocks away.  "You see
that factory, Fred?  It's about to explode."

Fred nodded.  "I see.  And we're going to stop it?"

"Certainly not!  We're going to blow it up."  The Doctor set off down
the street.

Fred ran to catch up with the Doctor.  "Why, what's wrong with it?
Pollution?"

"No, it's actually fairly clean."

"Is it making some sort of dangerous thing that'll destroy society as we
know it?"

"Not really."

"Is it a problem with the owner?"

"No, he's actually a pretty nice guy.  Throws great parties, too."

"Then why are we going to blow it up?"

"Because it's the end of world if I don't."

Fred sighed.  "Of course.  I should have guessed."

The Doctor nodded.  "Yes, you should have."  He paused and looked at the
door they were walking past.  "Ah!  The factory's security office. We
should probably tell them we're about to blow up the factory.  They'll want
to evacuate the place."

"They'll also want to arrest us, probably."

"Oh, don't be such a pessimist, Fred," the Doctor said as he knocked on
the door.



Security Leader Arlist was annoyed to be disturbed by a knock on the
door.  "Yes, what is it?"

"Prisoners for interrogation," answered a muffled voice from the other
side of the door.

"Oh, all right.  I suppose you should come in and tell me about it."
Arlist flipped a switch on her desk, opening the door.  A security guard 
escorted two men into the office.

The guard pointed to one of the men.  "This man calls himself the
Doctor. He says he's here to blow up the factory.  The other one is his 
friend Fred, who says he would like to end his association with the 
Doctor at this point."

Arlist shook her head wearily.  "Not another one!"  She glared at the
Doctor.  "All right, you two, sit down."  The Doctor and Fred sat in the
uncomfortable chairs in front of her desk.  "Now, Doctor, why do you want 
to blow up this factory?"

"I don't, actually.  It's a pretty nice factory.  Unfortunately, it has
to be done."

"Why does it have to be done?"

"He says it's the end of the world if he doesn't," said Fred.

Arlist nodded slowly.  "Really?"

"Yes," answered the Doctor.

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"Not really."

Arlist nodded to the security guard, who put his gun to the Doctor's
head.  "Do it anyway."

The Doctor sighed.  "Fine.  There's a man in the packing section
secretly working on a device that will guide the Snowthan Host to your
planet, and allow them to overrun the place.  Starting with this factory, 
of course."

"That'd probably be Ferron he's talking about," said the guard.

Arlist activated the intercom on her desk.  "Packing section.  Ferron,
will you please report to the security section?"

"It'd be easier to just evacuate the place and let me blow it up," the
Doctor complained.  "This way he might suspect we're on to him."

A small, nervous-looking man appeared at the door.  "You sent for me?"

Arlist nodded.  "Yes, Ferron.  This man here says you're working on a
device to bring the Snowthan Host to this planet."

"I'm not!"

"You're not?"

"No!  I finished it a few minutes ago."

"And activated it too, I suppose," said Fred.

Ferron smiled.  "Of course.  It wouldn't do me much good if I just left
it sitting there after working on it so long, would it?"

The Doctor jumped up from his chair, disarming the security guard in the
process.  "Look!  Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Yes, I've summoned the Snowthan Host to this planet."

"Do you know what the Snowthan Host is?"

Three purple figures in grey three-piece suits appeared at the door.
"Hi there," said one of the figures.  "We're the Snowthan Host."

Ferron stared at the figures.  "You're not quite what I was expecting."

"Ha!  Most people say that."  The figure produced a folder, and opened
it.  "We've been looking over your factory, and I have to say we're very
impressed.  We do, however, have a few suggestions for improvements."

The security guard grabbed Ferron and started shaking him.  "Do you
see what you've done, you idiot?"

"First," the figure said, "all light fixtures to be painted with green
and yellow stripes."

"I didn't realize what I was doing," Ferron protested.

"Second," the figure continued, "shine the dish machine in the factory
cafeteria."

"Once the Snowthan Host has been summoned to a planet, they're very
hard to get rid of," said the Doctor.

"Third," said the figure, "tint all the factory windows orange."

Ferron turned angrily to the Snowthan Host, and grabbed the folder.
"Give me that thing," he shouted.

"That's a bad idea, Ferron," the Doctor warned.

One of the figured produced a small box and pressed a button on it.
Ferron immediately disappeared, and the folder fell to the floor.  Fred
picked it up and handed it to the first figure.  "Here you go."

"Thank you," said the figure.  It opened the folder up again.  "Fourth,
build a large antenna on the roof of the factory, to summon the rest of the
Snowthan Host."

The Doctor sighed.  "That was also a bad idea, Fred."

"Fifth, plant cucumbers around all the machines."

Arlist activated the intercom on her desk again.  "Everybody will now
cease work and head for the nearest exit."  She looked up at the Doctor.  
"All right, Doctor.  Blow up the factory."

"Sixth, fill the employee swimming pool with mercury."




The Doctor and Fred watched the TARDIS scanner, as the factory
disappeared with a bright flash.  "Well, that's that," said the Doctor.
"Are the repairs complete, K-9?"

"Affirmative.  Repairs complete."

"Good, we'll be off, then."  The Doctor flipped a few switches, and the
TARDIS dematerialized.

"Doctor, what do you suppose happened to the Snowthan Host?" asked
Fred.

Three purple figures in grey three-piece suits appeared at the control
room door.  "We've been looking over this TARDIS thing of yours, Doctor, 
and we have to say we're very impressed.  However, we do have a few 
suggestions for improvements."

"First," said Fred, "jettison the Snowthan Host on the nearest asteroid."

The first figure frowned and opened its folder.  "No, no, that wasn't
it."

K-9 turned to the console, made a few beeping noises, and the Snowthan
Host disappeared.

"Not a bad suggestion, though," observed the Doctor.



A few rocks were enjoying their existence by a crater on a barren
asteroid, when three purple figures in grey three-piece suits walked up to
them.  "Hi there," said the first figure.  "We're the Snowthan Host.  We've 
been looking over this asteroid of yours, and we have to say we're very
impressed.  We do, however, have a few suggestions for improvements..."